Dear Snarky Sue,
My daughter and her little girlfriend play travel soccer. Their travel coach holds the weekly practice on a field a couple of towns over–I-95, five o’clock traffic, all that. The other girl’s mother (who is not my friend) and I agreed during the tryouts that, if our girls made the team, we would share the driving.
Every time “M” drives, the girls are late, to the point the coach makes a deal about it. My daughter is embarrassed, and I’m irritated. I’ve offered to take over all the driving to practice (even though I REALLY don’t want to–I was just hoping M would get the hint). But M insists that “oh no, that wouldn’t be fair to you! Anyway, I like driving them!”
Ugh. Advice, please.
Timeliness is Godliness
Why do parents always have to throw out the word “travel”? Can’t it just be “soccer”? Try saying this: “My daughter plays soccer.” See, it’s enough, right? I didn’t need to know it was a “travel” team.
Punctuality is important in any situation. I and the rest of civilization thank you for cultivating a respect for the clock in your child.
Now, the issue at hand. I have two ideas. One is passive-aggressive, and the other is cowardly. I suggest you do both. The cowardly one entails you passing the buck: call the coach and explain that on the weeks your daughter is late to practice, it’s because M is driving, and M is the type who would be late to her own funeral. You might suggest to the coach that she/he warn all the parents (not the kids–that will freak your daughter out even more) that any kid with unexcused tardiness will get kicked off the team.
As for the passive-aggressive tack: on the days M is driving, start dropping your daughter off at M’s house (maybe you’ll be just dropping by there on the way to taking your son to travel baseball?) Get there early. Pound on the door. Then explain sweetly to M that you’ll wait with your daughter outside (in the rain, etc) until M is ready to go, which you know won’t be long because, gosh, look what time it is already!
That should light a fire under her booty.
Snarky Sue is a Registered Life Coach, obviously writing under a pseudonym, who lives in Larchmont. If you have an issue you would like her to consider, please contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org
photo: Alan Cleaver on Flickr