Murdoch’s News Corp. to Buy theLoop

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Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. has acquired  Larchmont, New York-based theLoop, LLC for an undisclosed sum.

“We love theLoop,” Murdoch said by Skype in Sydney, Australia, “It’s been ahead of the curve since it began publishing local news in 2007, especially with that ground-breaking Police Blotter.

Murdoch has been thinking of acquiring theLoop for some time

It’s a pattern we can see replicating world-wide, though we doubt anyone else can be this good.”

“Hyperlocal news is a trend in news consumption that’s here to stay,” said a well-placed News Corp. executive that declined to be named. “And we don’t want them nipping at our heels anymore.”

“We especially love the new enhanced Food Directory.”

theLoop offices are expected to expand into the Fox News Headquarters building on 6th Avenue in New York, with a satellite bureau in the old Larchmont Store.

In buying the Loop, News Corp. continues to grow its vast media holdings, which includes the entertainment giant 20th Century Fox,  The Wall Street Journal and the Fiji Post.

The purchase is seen as a boon for the Loop, which may now be able to add features like comics and a crossword puzzle, though insiders worry its credibility could be compromised.

“I don’t know,” said a member of the Mamaroneck Chamber of Commerce, “that I could be sure that Bill O’Reilly wasn’t planting a story in Rumorville.”

Said Larchmont Board Member Jaine Elkind Eney, “And I would draw the line if they publish topics like how to build six-pack abs with no crunches, or silly school budget meetings.”

“I disagee,” the executive said. “America loves that stuff. Not only will Loop readers be more informed, but they may look better too.”

In related news, the National Enquirer has withdrawn its hostile takeover bid for AOL’s 100-plus aggregated “Patch.com” sites, saying they were unable to negotiate. “We couldn’t find a single employee that was legally old enough to drink.”

— Published April Fools Day, 2011.

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Murdoch’s News Corp. to Buy theLoop

  1. Rumor is that an unannounced portion of the deal, which is being referred to as “Coyote”, will include the acquisition of the Town of Mamaroneck, the Village of Larchmont, and the Village of Mamaroneck.

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