Breaking Up: Hard to Do?

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Single? This isn’t the easiest place for that. Please share your stories with us: single@theloopny.com

from Anonymous:

Being single in Larchmont, Mamaroneck and Southern Westchester is increasingly not so uncommon.

Unfortunately, I know way too many women who have made the leap to singlehood, after trying for years to fix marriages that were on life-support.  In fact, it seems to me there are plenty of dynamic, smart and well-employed women here who are married to guys who really don’t carry their weight in the partnership. Is it any wonder, given the challenges of making ends meet in this area, why we finally get fed up and boot the bum out?

Having been down this path before, I have a few pointers for any one considering divorce:

– nothing gets any better when only one party is working at changing. Be aware of your expectations, set deadlines then FOLLOW THROUGH

– your kids already know there is trouble in the marriage. Get over the notion that it’s better to stay together because of the kids. If you are miserable, they will learn that you are willing to put up with bad treatment and poor communication. What kind of lesson is that?

– you can survive in this area on your own. Trust me. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And I speak from extensive experience as a long time media executive who has lived through many job changes as well as business start ups (including my own).

– you will find out who you can depend on fast, once you make a move to change the status quo. Don’t be surprised if some of your ‘friends’ turn out to be fair weather.

– divorce is expensive, especially if you use your attorney to punish your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Get over it. This is a business deal, and your lawyer is paid by the hour. Craft reasonable terms and be willing to discuss in a reasonable manner.

There is life after divorce and plenty of us here to keep you from hitting the worst aspects of what that means.  Go on, bet on your future happiness and do the right thing.  You’ll be glad you did.

One thought on “Breaking Up: Hard to Do?

  1. completely agree, and as a guy, have discovered that single women do a much better job looking out for one another then we do. So if your heart, brain, and experience all conclude it ain’t fixable, make the move. While living well thereafter is a challenge, it’s also the best revenge…

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